In this essay, how to maintain marriage and relationships is discussed in details. Marriage is known as the oldest institution that binds up two people to an everlasting friendship. Many marriages have their ups and downs. Marriage results from a relationship which is a cycle. When a relationship is starting, there so many hopes and dreams from both parties, for example, you want to be called every time, you want to be with your partner every where you go, have lunch together and many other things. When getting into a relationship, it is not hard at all because things just happen automatically and that is why it referred to as falling in love. Falling in love is an exciting thing and that is why we all take the trouble to introduce our partners to our parents who are happy for their children.
To sustain love is not an easy thing and that is why we need to learn to love the person we find, because even if we look for someone else we will still get to the same stage of a relationship and things will still be as difficult as they were there before or worse. Love does not just happen. Therefore, you need to take time, effort, energy and most of all, wisdom. You need to know what to do to maintain your relationship. Love has never become a mystery and there fore, we need to know the things that make our marriage a success with or without our partner (Dua, 2006).
According to (Kellis, 2007), communication is a key factor in maintaining our relationships. Communication should always remain open, have vital time together and always learn to forgive. The more time you spent with someone, the better you learn a person and you are able to learn them well. It’s through good understanding of a person that one can be able to maintain a good marriage. Every human being is prone to making mistakes and for a person to do well in their marriage, we must learn to forgive. Most relationships fail because of our own selfishness’. When we are falling in love, we all think about us but after a few years, we start thinking about me and hence communication becomes very difficult. This is because automatically people stop listening to each other and this is where all problems begin thus causing failure in marriage. Being humans, once in a while we lack trust in each other. At such moments we should turn to God and He will always help us find trust in each other. It may be a difficult path that he leads you through but still trust in him and all things will be possible (Bernstein, 2010).
Marriage is sacred and one the greatest commandment is to love one another. Hence, all the problems in marriage can be traced back and solved by both partners if they live harmoniously through love. Trouble begins when we start thinking about ourselves. It is always important to love each other and stay as lovers in any marriage relationship. In the process of doing this, you automatically realize your attention has shifted from me to us. This will greatly improve the communication problem. You will want to spend more time with your spouse and forgiveness will always be found in case of any mistake committed. Most important is to always learn to put your partner first in your marriage and your marriage will be able to pass any type of struggles that it may come across. The changes are not immediate but you should not give up.
A good marriage requires two people who are ready to live together. As partners, you should always try and put God first and let him be the solution to all you want. In marriage, it is always very important to try and find the problem. Different marriages have different problems, for example, it may be irresponsibility, others control and others financial. Some of these troubles are caused by lack of trust. It’s very important that partners win each others trust because with no trust, there can never be love. In marriage, you should never fear reaching out because the church should help us in our growing marriages (Bernstein, 2008).
Sex is a key factor in our marriage and it is sacred. Sex can bring many good things in our lives for example, child bearing. It also makes people remain attached in marriages. Sex helps in the growth of a healthy relationship in marriage. Sex is the only thing that joins the soul of both partners together. It is both psychological and physical. It’s not only about the act but also we need to retain a good sexual relationship with God, for example, as we are able to see the beauty in people and appreciate them (Kellis, 2007).
Most of the popular literature talks about wives remaining submissive to their husbands. The woman is part of the man and she should always listen and obey the husband. In the research articles, things are different. Man and woman are always equal and should always respect each other. In the popular cutler, women were not involved in decision making but in the research articles, women are involved in the decision making and this makes it easy for marriage. The research articles have really improved the perception of marriage and it has encouraged many people to enter into it as one of the first institution which is recognized by every one in the world.
Marriage is a very complex institution and this is because it is very difficult to comprehend how two people met, fell in love and after a few years, decided to get married. After very few years of their marriage, they start arguing. In marriage, one of the key things that people should do is accept that they are different and accept to put their differences aside and move on with their lives. One of the major fears of marriage is anxiety. Every one fears the kind of person they will meet and will they be the right choice for them? (Dua, 2006).
Some people are determined in maintaining their marriages no matter what comes their way. Such people find themselves therapists who will assist them in coping with all the situations that may come up. In some situations, a spouse may do something that may annoy you very much and you even think of quitting the marriage. The best way to deal with it is to say in every smooth road you must get a “pot hole” which should not stop you from continuing with your journey (Rank, 1998).
In conclusion we need to learn to repent the wrongs we have done, forgive and move on with our lives without necessarily hanging on to the old mistakes committed. This is because they will ruin our marriages. In marriage, we need to remain very close to each other, in a way that we can solve the rising problems mostly through communication. Any relationship is solely based on mutual communication and therefore, there is need to communicate and be close.